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Stupid Diets/Stupid Dieters 
9th-Jan-2006 08:50 pm
Here are some posts from dieters around LJ (in italics). Names have been omitted to protect the stupid. (x-posted to deadlybitch:

"So - I started the 48 Hour Hollywood Diet yesturday. Day one went surprisingly well. I expected to be famished but I was only midly hungry throughout the day.

I lost 4lbs the first day - I hope to lose another 4 today."


If you cut off your head, you'll lose 10 pounds really, REALLY fast.

***


"I am worried that on my fast I will get sick from taking my daily vitamins, I take a lot of them. I take… 2 happy campers (herbal anti-depressants), 2 pre-natal vitamins (they give you extra energy and make your hair grow faster!), one St. John’s Wort (for depression), one hair growth vitamin, and one one-a-day weight smart tablet. Iron is what makes people sick with vitamins, so maybe for the first few days when I do the Hollywood diet and I don’t drink a slim-fast with my vitamins to help coat my stomach, I will just skip out on the ones with iron (the pre-natal and the one-a-day.) The Hollywood diet formula has extra vitamins and stuff in it after all. Yep that’s what I’ll do."

Hair growth and depression. Is she trying to be a happy werewolf or something?

***

"For the first two days of the cleanse I am going to do the 48 hour Hollywood diet that cleanses your system, flushes out extra water in your body and basically shrinks your stomach with a two day juice fast."

Extra water in the body? Sweetheart, your body retains water BECAUSE YOU DON'T DRINK ENOUGH OF IT! 2 days of juice fasting is NOT going to shrink your stomach significantly enough. It's just going to make you hungry and irritable, and ultimately self-loathing when you don't lose a thing because you're binging on food for the next three days to make up the lack of proper nutrition and water.

***

"since i've started drinking the powdered slim fast shakes with soy milk i've been having diarrhea more often."

It's not the soy, pal. Try eating something SOLID.

***

"The toffee almond and caramel nut slim-fast bars taste like- well, I won't use the word I'm thinking of, but, uh, you know what I mean! haha!"

And what, exactly, is your basis for reference?

***

"I started my diet yesterday and so far I'm doing great..."

Hey, sometimes I go for ten hours without eating! It's called sleep.

***
This from the same person:

2 weeks:
"Hi everyone! This is my 2nd week on Slimfast, and I am so happy to say that I weighed myself today and my scale said 144. This scale said 150 a few weeks back... So I KNOW Slimfast is working for me... And I will honestly say I only did Pilates a few times. So for all you people who want to know if Slimfast works. IT DOES- even without exercise. With exercise is much better. I need to do more cardio. I am going to start tomorrow. I love to dance so I will just dance long enough and hard enough to get my heart racing and to sweat..."

3 weeks:
"Okay, I have been on Slimfast for 3 weeks now... And I feel so bloated today.... I don't feel like I am getting anywhere.. And I still need help with this exercise thing. Does anyone know anything I can do in the house????"

I have a suggestion: Get out of the house.

***

"Since I'm surrounded by grocery stores and 7-11's, I'm going to pop into one each day for single serve bags of carrots or a piece of fruit. That's how I'm guarding myself against binges."

Let me get this straight... you go into these places that put chips, soda, microwave burritos, and seasonal candy right in your line of sight, and that's going to guard you against binges???

***

"GOOD NEWS!!!! I reached my goal of 130lbs.


Not only have I reached it, I've maintained it for a week."


A WHOLE WEEK?!?! YOU GO GIRL!

***

"height: 5'8"
current weight: 128.4 lbs (as of this morning)...p.s. please don't tell me that i don't need to diet. i'm fully aware. sick ≠ stupid"


You're aware that you don't need to diet, yet you continue to restrict yourself to a liquid diet of less than 750 calories a day. No, you're not stupid...

***

"My understanding is the benfit of Slim Fast is mostly that it's filling without being many calories... right? There is no 'magic' diet drug or whathaveyou. So, unless I'm eating 220 calories of butter, I should be in the safe zone, yes?"

Yes, unless you consider things like vitamins and protein, but who needs that?

___________________________________

The bottom line is weight loss occurs with DIET and EXERCISE, together. There is no magic pill, or chocolate shake, or juice fast that will make you lose 50 pounds in two weeks. It takes diligence and WORK. Pay attention to those diet pill commercials, and the people who say "I lost 120 pounds!" The fine print at the bottom of the screen says "with sensible diet and regular exercise". The "Results are not typical" for these people because they actually dieted and exercised while taking the pill.

I have news, you morons.

If you diet and exercise, you'll lose weight anyway WITHOUT THE PILL! Save yourself $30 a bottle per month and spend it on a membership to Curves, ladies. Pilates as most people do it is not a weight-loss exercise. You need to MOVE. Cardio. Weight training. You need to SWEAT (and don't forget to BATHE afterward).

Not eating a stack of Pringles in the middle of the afternoon, or a half dozen Snickers bars after dinner will help, too.
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